Time is something that often

moves without me noticing

like

a heartbeat

Or my own feet

Only seem to see

when it trips

up or stops

 

 

You stay stagnant spirit despite the seconds

in a vase

on an armoire

at my Auntie’s house

She should plant Lilies in your resting place

Watch them bloom boom like your laugh

 

You stay stagnant spirit in my chest now too

like smoke

despite the seconds

beside my sternum.

Silent but pounding my bones

soliloquy

 

Sometimes

I feel the silk of your skin in my throat

Like song

Trying to coax stifled notes out

the ones I’ve stuffed silent passed my spleen

 

Other times it's your dagger skeleton

stabbing my stomach

Sharp as your tongue

 

Rarely, I remember you magnificent

as Marigold and Mariposa

    (though I’d offer both to do so)

 

Mostly it's Cancer stripped Calavera

 

I hate how sickness

shrinks your sorcery in my memory.

 

Makes me wanna cut

wings from my back

to give to you eternally

 

Makes me wanna paint you a giant

sprawling across the Southern California coast,

only in purple